3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
