Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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