stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
