there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I would ride that face into the sunset
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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