Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
