You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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