My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
