just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
