I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
