I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
