remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
