im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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