I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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