Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
