Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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