No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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