Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
