Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
