Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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