Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
