Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
