I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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