Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
