Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
