Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
