Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
