ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
