he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
