i may or may not be watching the land before time
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
