I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
