Well douche your snatch and let's go!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
don't judge my taste in strippers
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
