guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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