so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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