I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
