i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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