what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
