It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
