We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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