finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
then he tried to convert me to islam
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
