big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
