you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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