i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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