you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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