Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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