based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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