It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
