I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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