Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
