omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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