worst night to have a conscience
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
